The Talk
by blueskull
Summary: AU. In which Mikaela confesses something to his boyfriend, and Yuuichirou is wholly unpredictable.
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Talk

 **Words:** 1389

 **Warnings:** M/M, vague descriptions of a blowjob.

 **Notes:** I'm sorry, I wasn't even gonna have smut in this, but then Mika had other ideas.

• • • • • • • •

" _Mika_ …"

The heated moan against the aforementioned blond's lips immediately lets him know that something is just a little bit different about this particular make out session. The fingers lightly encroaching on the hem of his shirt tell an even bigger story. And is that – ? Yes, it definitely is, Mika acknowledges, as he feels the black-haired man above him grind his hardness against Mika's thigh.

Well, it was nice while it lasted.

Mika's own hands, ever carding through Yuu's hair while Yuu's own wander unabashedly, slowly lower to Yuu's shoulders, and he grips him tightly, lightly pushing back. There's an annoyed whine as the ebony-haired man relents and pulls away, his green eyes opening to meet Mika's blue ones, his face flushed in a manner Mikaela can only describe as _pretty_. Pity he won't be getting to see this again, no matter the context. Mika's endorphin-laden brain might be screaming that Yuu is _different_ , but the logical part of him cruelly reminds him it's just not possible.

He's beginning to wonder if he's a masochist, really. He's truly got no explanations for why he keeps getting into relationships only to have them – and his emotions – crushed from _this_.

"What's wrong?" Yuu's voice is a little slurred from something Mika can only assume is lust. He's heard that sort of intonation before, although not in _his_ voice. This is the first time Yuu has gotten this worked up with him, and there's a nagging feeling at the pit of the blond's stomach that this will be the last.

"I – need to tell you something," Mika starts, watching as his boyfriend ( _soon to be ex-boyfriend_ , his brain sneers unhelpfully) sits back in his lap, no longer trying to pin him against the couch they've found themselves on. "It's important," he adds, and he knows he's stalling. Yuu knows, too – Mika can tell, because his mouth curves in that way it does when he's impatient.

"Well, what is it?" he demands, his voice louder this time and no longer laced with desire. Mikaela finds his hands groping for Yuu's own, to hold them, as if to pull Yuu closer, because he _wants_ Yuu, he wants Yuu very much, just not in the way Yuu wants him. And the closer the words are to the tip of his tongue, the sicker Mikaela feels, because he just knows he's going to react like all the others, there's no reason for him to be any different. Why should he be any different?

The blond is on the verge of chickening out. He steels himself, fingers squeezing lightly, shuts his eyes so he doesn't have to look at Yuu's expression. Like a bandage. Rip it off fast. "I don't want to have sex." But he says it so quickly that he worries the words are garbled and indistinct. He takes a deep breath and repeats himself, more articulately this time. "I don't want to have sex. I'm not _interested_ in sex."

A silence follows that Mikaela can only describe as terribly uncomfortable. _Like a bandage_ , this is _nothing_ like a bandage, he has _always_ hated these seconds of quiet that feel like hours. But at least, he guesses, Yuu hasn't gotten up yet.

"Oh. Is that all?"

Mika's eyes snap open in shock. His (ex?) boyfriend is blinking at him owlishly and chewing lightly on his lower lip in a manner that Mika would normally find absolutely adorable.

"'Is that all'?" he repeats, a little dumbly. Out of all the possible reactions he expected, this was definitely not on the list.

"Yeah. Is that all."

"I, um, yes."

"Okay then." The black-haired young man grins and slides off his legs to settle down beside him, looking completely unperturbed. Mika stares at him blankly, his gaze wandering from the rather noticeable lump in the other's pants to his unconcerned expression.

"You're not…mad?" the blond asks carefully, as if expecting a whiplash of expletives to come streaming from Yuu's mouth the moment the question is posed.

"Nope." He shakes his head to confirm his response. Mika is still beyond flabbergasted.

"You're not breaking up with me?"

 _This_ gets the other man moving. " _What_? Why would I _ever_ break up with you over something like that?!" His emerald eyes are blazing, and he's grabbed a hold of both Mikaela's shoulders as he glares at him, as if staring him down for even daring to suggest such a thing. His indignation is plain on his face.

Mikaela's mouth feels a little dry. "No…no reason, just…"

" _Just_?" Yuu's eyes burn into his own, and Mika finds himself confused for the fifth time that day.

"Just…just most people _do_ want to break up," the blond says carefully. He regrets the words almost immediately, convinced that Yuu will realize his error and decide that that is actually a good idea after all.

Instead, the ebony-haired man huffs and leans back against the couch again, rolling his eyes. "Well, good. That means _I_ get to be your boyfriend." There's a smirk on the slightly shorter man's lips that Mika would almost describe as self-satisfied, and one of his hands grasps for one of Mika's. It's not quite until Yuu's fingers twine with his that Mikaela feels himself actually beginning to process the situation, and his heart flutters a little in his chest.

"You don't care."

"I don't."

"Oh." He can't really think of anything to say after that, and just watches him out of the corner of his eye. Yuu's eyes are probably Mika's favourite part of him. They're a gorgeous colour, and expressive to boot. And while his eyes currently seem nonchalant, even content, there's a thinly veiled frustration within them, and Mika remembers. His gaze flicks down for a bare second. "…What about you?"

"Huh? Oh, uh…" Yuu coughs. "It's fine, I can take care of it later. Don't worry about it, Mika." He waves his other hand carelessly to ward off any doubts.

That does it. All the stress and dread that's been steadily growing in Mikaela's core throughout the week erupts and floats away in the form of uncontrollable laughter. His shoulders shake with the force of his mirth, and his free hand comes up to rest against his forehead, tears spilling from the corners of his eyes. He's so unspeakably _relieved_ that he can't possibly express it, and Yuu is probably offended right now, but there's nothing he can do about it.

"You're so…" _Perfect_. The thought trails off, unfinished, amidst soft giggles, and Mika takes deep breaths to try to calm himself. Yuu isn't like the others, he's so much more _beautiful_ , and he can't believe how utterly lucky he is to have met him.

"Ah? What? I'm what? What were you gonna say, Mika?!" Insistent fingers tug at him, and the blond shakes his head softly, before shifting to straddle Yuu's lap. The black-haired man makes an indecipherable squeaking sound as Mikaela's weight settles against his clothed erection. He presses a chaste kiss to Yuu's forehead, and then to his ear, although it becomes less _chaste_ when he opens his mouth to whisper, "I'll fix it, Yuu-chan."

He lets himself slide down the other's body until he's kneeling on the floor between Yuu's legs. One of his hands palms at Yuu's groin, curiously, and he reflects that he has never seen his boyfriend's face this red.

"I thought – ! You said – !" Yuu's breathing is staccato and his eyes are dark, lips parted in a little 'o' as he stares down at the blond with wide eyes.

Mika laughs lowly. "I might not be interested in sex myself, but I can still do this for you, Yuu-chan."

"But you said! You don't _need_ to!" His voice is adorably high-pitched, and Mikaela can detect a hint of what he thinks is _need_ in Yuu's own voice.

"But I _want_ to." He hums and smiles a little as his hands work at Yuu's belt. He has never given anyone a blowjob before, but he's pretty certain he doesn't mind Yuu being his first. And while he's never liked bodily fluids, especially not _this_ kind, Yuu's choked out moans make Mikaela's chest swell with warmth, and he supposes that it's all worth it if he can see his boyfriend's face like this ( _flushed, elated_ ) every once in a while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Title:** The Talk

 **Words:** 1286

 **Warnings:** M/M, more vague descriptions of a blowjob.

 **Notes:** This wasn't supposed to happen, but then my fingers hit the keyboard and it all just appeared. I almost didn't post this tbh omg.

• • • • • • • •

His first time going down on Yuuichirou goes embarrassingly wrong. It's probably just Mika's pride talking; he knows he can't be good at everything he tries despite his attempts, especially when it's something he's never considered trying or hoped he'd do. And Yuu seemed to enjoy it, even despite the fact that Mika had to pull away toward the end and nearly vomited the moment he felt anything more than a drop of come on his tongue. So it's not because of anything Yuu's said or done that Mika knows it went _wrong_.

Really, it's because he's pretty sure he's never done anything Yuu is doing to him right now, even when they decided to invest in the use of a condom the very next time he tried sucking him off, and all the occasions thereafter. And while this honestly felt good at first, he can barely feel it now. Instead of thinking on the sensations Yuu is giving him, his hot mouth around his hardened length, he's concentrating on the idea he must have done a goddamn piss-poor job of giving his boyfriend pleasure, and he's vaguely appalled at himself.

He tries to calm himself by thinking _maybe I can just consider this a learning experience_ , but then he realizes that Yuu must have learnt this from someone else, too. And now he's abstractly annoyed for a reason he can't understand or articulate, and far away from sinking back into the sensations around the lower half of his body.

Maybe Yuu didn't learn this from anyone. Maybe he's just a natural. A blowjob god.

Mikaela actually _snorts_ at the thought, and oh god, he really is terrible at this. If his steadily softening dick isn't an indicator of his nonexistent libido, laughing definitely is. This is terrible, he's _terrible_ , and he's really wondering why he agreed to do this in the first place. He'll probably regret this, anyway. He should have just held his ground and not let it happen. That's what he did the first time he'd gotten an impromptu hard-on around Yuu. They had been cuddling on the couch, watching a movie, and it had just _happened_ , to Mikaela's pure and utter dismay. And Yuu had noticed quite soon after – how could he _not_ , with his back pressed up against him? But the blond had tried to ignore it, certain it would go away after a time, until Yuu's fingers lightly trailed down his chest. Before they could pass his hips, he'd grabbed the pioneering limb and shook his head.

 _"It doesn't matter, Yuu-chan."_

 _"Are you sure?"_

 _"Yeah. Don't – don't pay attention to it."_

 _"Okay. Well, uh, tell me if you ever want to try, okay?"_

Mikaela had been quite certain that such a day would never come, but here he is, nearly a week later, reclined on his bed, his boxers around his knees, his pants _somewhere_ (probably on the floor), Yuu's mouth on him just because he conceded that _maybe_ trying wouldn't be that bad. The ebony-haired man releases him, and Mika reflexively sits up to look at him. His boyfriend has an oddly contemplative expression on his face, then he smiles widely and speaks.

"Just think of me, Mika."

Mika wants to protest – _I am thinking of you, that's why this isn't working!_ – but instead, he lets out a deep breath he never realized he was holding in, and _tries_.

He thinks about what he likes the most about Yuu. His eyes, his gorgeous eyes. He likes kissing him. He likes the way Yuu kisses him. Mika never thought he'd be able to ignore swapping saliva, much less not feel ill from the very idea, but somehow, with Yuu, it's not quite as gross as it is with anyone else. He doesn't quite like it, but he doesn't mind it, either.

He likes the sound of Yuu's moans, not because they're sexy or arousing, but because it makes him feel good to know he makes his boyfriend feel good. He likes the way Yuu touches him, and he likes touching him, too. He likes the way Yuu makes him shiver when he ghosts his mouth against his ears, and he even likes the arrogant smirk Yuu dons whenever that happens.

There's a spark now, and it makes him shudder slightly. He thinks he can feel Yuu smile around his now-growing erection, he thinks too much, much too much. He's still thinking about Yuu. His hands shift mindlessly against the sheets, as if he wants to grab them; he's not sure what to do with them and he's not sure what to do with himself, because the ceiling is blurring and hazing and he has never felt like this, is this _normal_? He wants to ask, but he can't speak, and his jaw clenches shut against the sounds threatening to spill out, because this is embarrassing, he _can't_ – until Yuu flicks his wrist _just so_ and tongues at Mikaela's slit, and his jaw drops open in a languid groan.

Warmth coils in his gut, sharp as a spring, and he's just barely able to register that this feeling is familiar, if only barely. He knows what comes next, he almost doesn't _want_ to know because he _hates_ this part – but then he's coming, his mind is spinning, and he's too far gone to say anything, even when he feels Yuu's mouth and throat tighten around him, even if –

What.

It's almost like a whiplash. His brain veers back into working order, the cogs and wheels spinning wildly, spinning _too fast_ because everything is an incoherent jumble. The blond sits up on his elbows, gaze directed toward his crotch where his boyfriend is looking far too contented with himself, pulling Mikaela's boxers back on for him. Where is, where is – ?

Yuu's – Yuu's just _swallowed_ it. His sputtering mind doesn't know whether to be utterly repulsed or overcome with adoration. Then Yuu makes his way back up the bed, and suddenly Mika thinks that he wants to kiss him. His thoughts are confirmed when the black-haired man leans over him, dark gaze falling to Mika's lips, and Mikaela's stomach _turns over_ from queasiness. He falls back against the mattress, as if to avoid, not _as if_ , that's _exactly_ what he's doing. And Yuu, _blessedly_ , Yuu _stops_.

And flicks him on the forehead.

Before Mika can voice a protest at the turn of events, Yuu flashes him an unfairly charming smile and retreats. "I'll be right back!" he calls over his shoulder as he disappears from the bedroom.

Okay. He can admit, that had felt good. Amazing, actually. Much better than he had ever thought it would. He has only ever masturbated once – he had been thirteen, and he had been so sickened by the sticky, white aftermath that he had been completely unable to justify the pleasure he had received from the act. He had barely _felt_ it, truthfully, so overwhelmed by nausea. And now, without that – _that_ – he can sort of relax in the buzz. Let himself do it, in any case.

But he's still worried about Yuu. Where did he go? Was it that horrible? Well, he didn't seem that upset – heck, he'd _smiled_ – so perhaps his worries are unfounded.

His thoughts are answered when the other male bounces back into the room, all but leaping onto the bed and making it shake with his arrival. As Yuu drags gentle fingers through Mika's hair and leans in to try to initiate a kiss, Mika's hand comes up reflexively to stop him. Then he realizes that he can smell toothpaste on Yuu's mouth, and his boyfriend grins. "All clean."

The blond sighs heavily in something like adoration and kisses him soundly.


End file.
